Posts Tagged ‘God of War’

Hey everybody! It’s been a while. Where the hell you been? Just kidding. That was a joke and I’m the only one laughing (I’m not laughing). Anyway, the party’s been started, you should join in.

Arkham City has been started.

Wine and Rum tonight. Got two bottles of wine from work for freesies. Hooshaw.

My glass is constantly empty. Fut the whack. Might be a short night.

How are you? How you been? What’cha been up to? You online? Wanna chat? I’m AFK, yo. A/S/L? TOTF (Too Old To Function)

Eminem has just the right amount of anger for me. Perfect for drinking, working out, traveling; he’s a regular jack o’all trades. Of course, this means I’m not watching Star Wars right now, however, you may be pleased to know my a-hole is out in full fashion. Even before I started drinking today, I was accused of being an asshole, borderline douchebag, meaning my charm’o'meter was not functioning properly, slash, the person I was interacting with was too damn serious. Sneriously? CTFD (Calm the Fuck Down).

Sometimes I think I do the things I do to convince people that they should not like me, as though I want them not to like me. What’s the point of persecuting yourself? I’m not always the most logical person, much as I like to think otherwise.

Let’s say you’ve been shot 4 times. Do you think after the first time you’d be accustomed to the pain? So by the 4th time, you’re just like “Damn, I’ve been shot again. I’ll just wrap it up real quick cuz I got plans tonight.” I can’t say fo’ sho’, but I like to think that’s how the ball rolls.

I’m not driving tonight, in case you were wondering. In the city we have nonstop designated drivers in the subway system. It’s one of the greatest things about this place. Responsibility = out the window; you just have to swipe your card. I guess you have to make sure you don’t fall on the tracks, but most things happen for a reason… just saying (says the cocky b-stard.)

I have to deal with auto-correct on my phone and now I’m supposed to deal with auto-correct on my blog? I don’t think so. I want the world to know my typos. Tried to auto-correct b-stard to bustard. F that yojo.

Nightwing is kickin’ A, mostly, in case you were wondering. About to either switch to story mode or change to God of War, which I recommend as a game to play if you haven’t already. The series is pretty decent. A few misses, but the hits are amazing.

It’s a little early, but all I wanna do is eat right now. Might be from my workout, or whatever, but I think tonight I might be able to manage eating and drinking and then drinking some more. Kind of have to, because I’m dedicated to Drunkennings.

I recently wrote an article defending heavy drinking for a website that I hope will end up being my first paid writing gig. If it doesn’t, I will post it here. Basically, I called out humans for blaming their problems on the things they abuse rather than themselves for abusing things. It’s easier to blame someone or something else instead of looking at where the true fault lays. (I hope I used that word right.  I think I did. People lie, objects lay, right? True to form, because humans are pathological liars, the lot of us.

Pizza in the oven. Refused to help it.

(Morning Edit: Passed out on the couch with pizza in my mouth. Made a PB&J, somehow got peanut butter everywhere. Passed out in bed with PB&J in my mouth. Overall successful night.)

 

Hold on to your sober caps because a new Drunkennings starts in 3, 2, 1: *crsh* Beer-thirty. Okay, now let go of those caps because it kind of defeats the purpose.

Rule #1 of being drunk (which I am not): Do not drunk dial, drunk Facebook, wasted Tweet, or drunk blog (unless you have a website called wordsandslurs.com, which you don’t because it belongs to me. Drunk dialing is really only effective when either you’re the one calling, or both of you are drunk. 3 am is a horrible time to call anyone. Drunk Facebooking leads to being shocked and embarrassed in the morning, and having to delete a bunch of things while hoping that no one saw them (the twelve people who liked it and the eight who commented probably didn’t see anything). Wasted Twitter (a step or two above drunk) is ill-advised simply because of how easy it is to spam Tweets down the throats of your followers on a sober day. Being wasted is like having a blog series where you just write down whatever you’re thinking or feeling while you’re drunk (or getting drunk) and shove it down the throats of your followers. Just don’t. And finally, don’t drunk blog because it’s my thing and I will cut you.

For christmas this year, my sister gave me a pair of pajama pants with gingerbread men on them. Half of them have their heads torn off and it says “Bite Me.” I think they’re awesome and extremely comfortable and I’m wearing them now.

Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. HA! Silence. Silence. Silence. = Me watching Family Guy.

Arkham City is great, by the way.

After working this food service job, I find that I’m somewhat addicted to multi-tasking. I frequently find something to watch on my computer while I play video games and drink and/or do something else. People ask me if I can honestly focus on everything at once, and I say “Your breath smells of soot and poo, and yes, I can focus on everything. I play the same game all the time, and watch things I’ve already seen or things I don’t really care about.” For example, the other night I was watching a movie on Netflix. It lost my interest, so I whipped out the video games. I still watched the movie, but did I see everything? No. Didn’t miss anything, either. Dumb movie. Lesson here: some movies suck.

HOLY CRAP I just switched games. Going back to some God of War. This is semi-big. Just like….other things…is what she said.

I just laughed at my own joke. That’s our secret, and so help me, if you tell anyone… mmhmm.

Isn’t it crazy how you go back and play your favorite games that when they came out, you thought they looked amazing, but now, they look dated. You don’t really notice the progression of technology, it’s more like things just look better sort of. It’s the comparison that really dates games.

Oh, god. Kratos can roll. Batman cannot. Batman has little spiky dudes above his attackers before they make contact. Kratos does not. — adjustment period.

Stop rolling, damn yoU!

God of War = button mashing, Batman = skills. More or less.

Was just thinking “I need to drink more and faster,” then banged my elbow full-on into the wall and didn’t feel anything…. which confirmed everything? Yes.

You know what God of War and Batman (as games) have in common? Simplicity. The controls are not complicated. A great game has simple controls and an awesome story/environment/story environment. Complicated controls are an attempt to make up for a crappy game. AND WE NOTICE.

The problem with sequels to games is that sometimes you try to do the awesome moves you can do in the sequels, but in the originals, and FAIL. It’s like playing Arkham Asylum and trying to speed grapple, or playing God of War and trying to grapple to enemies and pound them to the floor. Not ON the floor, mind you, TO the floor. Get your mind out of the gutter.

If your mind isn’t perpetually in the gutter, you’re doing it wrong…. I’m doing it wrong.

For the love of the gods, STOP ROLLING!

You know, if my current statistics mean anything, it shows that the Drunkennings series isn’t all that popular. I’d consider discontinuing it, but for such a small readership and for the fact that my website is called WordsandSLURS (the drunken type) leads to shove it all somewhere for a rainy day. You guys sort of like the Disturbed Personas series, and really seem to like the blog posts where I talk about something very briefly. Those factors considered, at almost 800 words, not many people will actually finish reading this post.

If I insult you, it’s only to get a rise out of you. To encourage discourse. It doesn’t seem to work. Well, what you.

Have you read the latest Disturbed Personas? #4? There’s a lot of naughty words. Non-sexual kind. Seriously, you’re depraved.

I miss Arkham.

The best part about getting drunk and posting things on the internet/texting or doing anything is seeing it in the morning, or being told about it, and having little to no memory of doing it. Really, the absolute best part is the whole “REALLY?!” aspect on your part.

Getting drunk and reading about it later really just affirms how crazy you are.

Speaking of which, I never edit Drunkennings. I edit as I go, and anything I don’t catch, well, sucks to your assmar.

Shut up!

I want the stamina of a video game character. They get sliced and diced how many times before they die. One hit kill games suck le balls. They’re not fun. I want a health bar, basically.

Kratos, your sternocleidomastoid is showing. Bahaha.

So 30 Rock is over. I started watching this season, but the early episodes around the election really upset me. Relevance is one thing, beating me over the head with a rubber club is another. If I wanted election coverage, I’d find a way to watch CNN (I don’t have cable). Sounds like it got better. I kind of know what happens because I like them on Facebook.

Excuse me, I have a griffin to beat the crap out of. DIE, you whore!, but don’t die because you’re a whore, die because you crossed me one too many times (in this case, once). Whores are peeps too.

Also, Peeps are disgusting and I don’t know why they’re still manufactured.

I’m not drunk, per say, but my Facebooking is hi-fraking-larious right now. Toot Toot.

I just saw something about writer’s anxiety. Here’s the thing (for me): I don’t have anxiety about writing. I love writing, and I’m going to write whatever the hell I want. If no one reads it, I don’t really care. I don’t write for other people, and I don’t necessarily care if I can make money at it. I write because it makes me happy. To me, the happiness is payment enough, and anything after that is a bonus check (a very highly taxable bonus check).

DAMMIT Facebook, stop autocorrecting my typos. They’re intentional, damn you!

Kratos, you and I are going to have a serious problem if you don’t stop rolling around every two seconds.

Okay, so I quit Kratos and ran crying back to Arkham. At least I went to Asylum. Batman just knows how I like it, and Kratos doesn’t have access to the Joker by Mark Hamill. LOOOOOOOOOOVE it.

Batman vs. glass windows: Oh no you didn’t.

Anyway, g2g and all that snacks,

you made it this far, You’re Welcome (such an arrogant prick am I.)

:)

My night out ended earlier than expected, so here I am doing what I do. Let’s drink and settle in for EPISODE 2, bitches! (strikethrough bitches, add in “lovely people who I greatly respect and admire”)

What’s that? Oh, Arkham City is great. I love playing it. I’m downloading the God of War: Ascension beta right now, but it’s taking forever and I can’t wait that long.

Party foul?! I just spilled my drink trying to get up to turn the volume on the tv down (I don’t have a remote; I get my lazy bum out of the chair….which really sucks sometimes). No big deal except that some of it got on Kenobi (my compy). It’s basically just rum and water, so no sticky mess, and I gave much extra attention to the poor guy. He seems okay. It’s not the first time something like this has happened. Last time was soda, right after I’d gotten him, and it wasn’t me who fouled.

I basically ate an entire jar of peanut butter today. It’s a small jar? Supposed to get 14 servings out of it, so I guess I got the American serving. Maybe I should see if McDonald’s will deliver, too. What the hell, right? >:S Peanut butter isn’t even a nut. It’s a LEGUME! What kind of crap is that?

Women: what would happen if you hoohoo started monologuing for real? Would you be freaked out? I would be freaked the frack out, but also interested in what it had to say.

I have my respectable shoes on right now, but it sounds like I have my asshole shoes on. The weird part is that I’m not actually wearing any shoes at all.

Speaking of shoes, I need new shoes for both work and everyday. I told my boss I was going to wear bunny slippers to work from now on, and she didn’t mind. Then I said that they were going to be Emo bunnies with one ear hanging down over an eye, and they were going to be black slippers and awesome. Then I decided that these slippers should probably be Stompeez. Only at that point did my boss shoot me down. I should contact the manufacturer of those slippers and tell them that I want black Emo bunny slippers for work. Which means they’ll have excellent traction.

“Lookout, he’s got a Nug!” “It’s a Gun, you idiot!”  -Anyone remember that episode of Frasier? He was having a Murder Mystery party over at Nile’s swanky digs, and the ordeal proved to be a wee bit frustrating for the old chap. Oh dear, I fear I’ve gone British. Cheerios, cheerios. (A reference to an episode of “The Nanny,” in which Fran complains to Mr. Sheffield about the British always talking about cereal before they leave a room.)

I may watch too much TV. But you do too much of something, too, so quit nagging me. I say QUIT!

“How does Catwoman survive in a place like this?” How do any of us survive in any place? One day at a time. Hash tag: Arkham City.