Posts Tagged ‘Batman’

Moral Dilemma: Peeing while you’re Cleaning?

Posted: May 2, 2013 in RANDOMMINITY, THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS
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Shower time. You feel great. The water’s at a perfect temperature. You step in. Out of nowhere, disaster strikes! Your bladder suddenly decides it’s full. Your shower is ruined as you’re faced with the moral dilemma of whether to pee in the shower or hold it until you’re all cleaned up, because there is no way in Hades’ Underworld that you’re stepping out of the shower just to go to the bathroom. (I passed my personal trainer certification test, by the way).

Peeing int he shower is a doozy of a moral issue because it’s like a secret reveal about yourself. No one has to know you let the flow go in the shower; that’s your secret. On the flip side, no one has to know you were faced with a monumental decision and chose the moral high ground. Sure, you can tell the world either way, if you don’t mind a few glares here and an empty corner as your sole companion (and a rather dull companion at that), but this is mostly between you (and maybe that wall).

So what do you do? This isn’t a 911 emergency call situation just yet; you could hold it if you had to, but it ruins your relaxing shower experience. You’ve had a hard day, you wanted to relax, maybe you were too lazy to draw a bath (insert crayon and pencil joke about drawing a bath because I’m too lazy to be that clever), or maybe you don’t have bathtub access, so you decided a shower would be the perfect mode of relaxation and release. But do you release everything?

Why wouldn’t you? There’s running water, just like in a toilet, and it’s all going into the same sewer drain. And it’s proven science that holding in your excretions is one of the worst decisions you could make, so why the howdy do would you willingly destroy your wee-time area for such a silly reason as upholding the moral fabric of society when society is fuh-freaking clueless in regards to your act of desecration? You silly person, you.

So you pee in the shower. Ahhhhhhhh baby, yes please. Fool! The apocalypse is one day closer because of your selfishness. Are you going to tell the next person who uses the shower that you peed in it? You know, waste products leave a residue, and some poor idiot is going to step in your soap scum and yellow snow-juice. What if you were that person. Oh sure, it’s fine if you stay ignorant, but if you just stepped in the shower and someone told you that they had wizzed in the shower not five minutes past, how would you feel? What if they had turned the water off before they’d released their nitrogenous river, meaning the liquid at the shower floor is not residual water, it’s someone’s pee. See how society unravels. This is why we can’t have nice things.

The decision to pee in the shower is ultimately a moral one, because there’s plenty of reasons for and against both sides of the situation. And you know what I do when faced with a moral issue? I ask myself “What would Batman do?” Without thinking too much about Batman peeing in the shower, I like to believe he’d hold it. He may even be so bold as to get out of the shower, but I doubt it because no one does that. Not even Batman. If you can pee in the shower, who knows what else you’re willing to do? Kill an old lady? Recite Shakespeare, ignoring the rules of iambic pentameter?  Poo with the door open?! Wizz away, but know that it’s a slippery slope, peeing in the shower, and you control the soap dispenser.

Batman: Death of the Family

Posted: February 17, 2013 in PRAISES AND REVIEWS
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Promotional image, from Wikipedia

If you’re not a comic book fan, shut up and listen anyway. I’m not a frequenter of the genre, but my love of all things Batman and Joker made the “Death of the Family” story arc unmissable. I promise not to include too many spoilers in case you decide to pick up / download anything.

So here’s how this one worked: the main story happened in the Batman comics (#13-17) and the supporting story (tie-in) happened in Catwoman and Suicide Squad (Harley Quinn, Joker’s on/off-again girlfriend, is a member), as well as Batman and Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Teen Titans, Red Hood and the Outlaws, and Detective Comics (featuring members of the Bat-family). You could theoretically read only the Batman issues and get the full story, but the tie-ins bring the whole thing home, and I recommend reading most of them. I say most because some of the issues were lacking and even seemed irrelevant to the overall event, but the character revelations are generally worth reading (notably Catwoman).

Now here’s the basic story (minor spoilers): the Joker returns to Gotham City after a year-long absence and targets Batman and his allies. Previously, Joker had cut off his face (what the hey-dilly, right?), and now he comes back to claim the skin that was his face, which he wears over what can only be some nasty scar tissue. He then goes after everyone Batman holds dear, claiming that Batman has become too reliant on his allies, and that his “family” is holding Batman back from being the brilliant caped crusader of old. What’s even worse is that Joker claims to know who everyone is underneath their mask, which means that no one is safe, not even Alfred.

This event broke my heart on numerous occasions. First of all, after reading a few issues, it was clear that this was not the same Joker that I had fallen in love with. Granted, I’d grown accustomed to the Mark Hamill Joker, but compared to that and previous incarnations, this Joker was meaner, crazier, and much less likable. Pain in my chest cavity. I went from highly anticipating seeing the Clown Prince of Crime to hoping I could get a break from the maniac (while also wanting more).

Overall, things just go from bad to worse to bloody hell, and you never get a break. It’s very draining, but you can’t stop reading. I thought I could buy a few issues every now and then, and I ended up buying them all almost at once. Guess I won’t be eating for a while (worth it). By the end of it all, I had so many mixed feelings, heartbreak and all, that I was left breathless and unsure of myself emotionally and physically.

Character development and revelations: Yes, yes, and amazing, but first, let me say that Nightwing got shafted. I wanted more Dick Greyson (the original Robin) and less Teen Titans (featuring Red Robin, the third Robin). Also, thanks to the 2011 reboot of the DC franchise, Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl), former paraplegic at the hands of the Joker, can kick crime’s saggy butt again as Batgirl, and the reappearance of the Joker her chance at revenge.

(By the way, in case you didn’t know, there are four Robins: Dick Greyson was the original, who is now Nightwing. Jason Todd replaced Greyson, but now he’s Red Hood. Todd was replaced by Tim Drake, who is now Red Robin of the Teen Titans. Finally, there’s Damian Wayne, Batman’s son and current sidekick.)

Everyone has some marvelous things that happen to them, that force them to confront who they are and what they believe, and the things that come out of their perils are so satisfying that I’m willing to overlook the sometimes long segments of comic that I have zero love for.

The dialogue was sometimes kind of terrible, and the artwork in some issues was definitely inferior to others, but whoo doggy, was it all spectacular at times. Specifically, I wanted to see Joker’s former face deteriorate as the story unfolded, and the artists delivered to my satisfaction. It was grotesque and sublime.

I’d love to talk in more depth about the happenings towards the end of the event, especially in Batman #17, but I will refrain (just in case). However, it is absolutely worth reading this story arc, tie-ins and all. Find a comic book store near you or download the DC Comics app and buy, buy, buy! At the very least, google search the promotional images for this event because they are incredible.

 

Drunkennings #5: Let’s get for-snerious

Posted: February 9, 2013 in DRUNKENNINGS
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Hold on to your sober caps because a new Drunkennings starts in 3, 2, 1: *crsh* Beer-thirty. Okay, now let go of those caps because it kind of defeats the purpose.

Rule #1 of being drunk (which I am not): Do not drunk dial, drunk Facebook, wasted Tweet, or drunk blog (unless you have a website called wordsandslurs.com, which you don’t because it belongs to me. Drunk dialing is really only effective when either you’re the one calling, or both of you are drunk. 3 am is a horrible time to call anyone. Drunk Facebooking leads to being shocked and embarrassed in the morning, and having to delete a bunch of things while hoping that no one saw them (the twelve people who liked it and the eight who commented probably didn’t see anything). Wasted Twitter (a step or two above drunk) is ill-advised simply because of how easy it is to spam Tweets down the throats of your followers on a sober day. Being wasted is like having a blog series where you just write down whatever you’re thinking or feeling while you’re drunk (or getting drunk) and shove it down the throats of your followers. Just don’t. And finally, don’t drunk blog because it’s my thing and I will cut you.

For christmas this year, my sister gave me a pair of pajama pants with gingerbread men on them. Half of them have their heads torn off and it says “Bite Me.” I think they’re awesome and extremely comfortable and I’m wearing them now.

Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. HA! Silence. Silence. Silence. = Me watching Family Guy.

Arkham City is great, by the way.

After working this food service job, I find that I’m somewhat addicted to multi-tasking. I frequently find something to watch on my computer while I play video games and drink and/or do something else. People ask me if I can honestly focus on everything at once, and I say “Your breath smells of soot and poo, and yes, I can focus on everything. I play the same game all the time, and watch things I’ve already seen or things I don’t really care about.” For example, the other night I was watching a movie on Netflix. It lost my interest, so I whipped out the video games. I still watched the movie, but did I see everything? No. Didn’t miss anything, either. Dumb movie. Lesson here: some movies suck.

HOLY CRAP I just switched games. Going back to some God of War. This is semi-big. Just like….other things…is what she said.

I just laughed at my own joke. That’s our secret, and so help me, if you tell anyone… mmhmm.

Isn’t it crazy how you go back and play your favorite games that when they came out, you thought they looked amazing, but now, they look dated. You don’t really notice the progression of technology, it’s more like things just look better sort of. It’s the comparison that really dates games.

Oh, god. Kratos can roll. Batman cannot. Batman has little spiky dudes above his attackers before they make contact. Kratos does not. — adjustment period.

Stop rolling, damn yoU!

God of War = button mashing, Batman = skills. More or less.

Was just thinking “I need to drink more and faster,” then banged my elbow full-on into the wall and didn’t feel anything…. which confirmed everything? Yes.

You know what God of War and Batman (as games) have in common? Simplicity. The controls are not complicated. A great game has simple controls and an awesome story/environment/story environment. Complicated controls are an attempt to make up for a crappy game. AND WE NOTICE.

The problem with sequels to games is that sometimes you try to do the awesome moves you can do in the sequels, but in the originals, and FAIL. It’s like playing Arkham Asylum and trying to speed grapple, or playing God of War and trying to grapple to enemies and pound them to the floor. Not ON the floor, mind you, TO the floor. Get your mind out of the gutter.

If your mind isn’t perpetually in the gutter, you’re doing it wrong…. I’m doing it wrong.

For the love of the gods, STOP ROLLING!

You know, if my current statistics mean anything, it shows that the Drunkennings series isn’t all that popular. I’d consider discontinuing it, but for such a small readership and for the fact that my website is called WordsandSLURS (the drunken type) leads to shove it all somewhere for a rainy day. You guys sort of like the Disturbed Personas series, and really seem to like the blog posts where I talk about something very briefly. Those factors considered, at almost 800 words, not many people will actually finish reading this post.

If I insult you, it’s only to get a rise out of you. To encourage discourse. It doesn’t seem to work. Well, what you.

Have you read the latest Disturbed Personas? #4? There’s a lot of naughty words. Non-sexual kind. Seriously, you’re depraved.

I miss Arkham.

The best part about getting drunk and posting things on the internet/texting or doing anything is seeing it in the morning, or being told about it, and having little to no memory of doing it. Really, the absolute best part is the whole “REALLY?!” aspect on your part.

Getting drunk and reading about it later really just affirms how crazy you are.

Speaking of which, I never edit Drunkennings. I edit as I go, and anything I don’t catch, well, sucks to your assmar.

Shut up!

I want the stamina of a video game character. They get sliced and diced how many times before they die. One hit kill games suck le balls. They’re not fun. I want a health bar, basically.

Kratos, your sternocleidomastoid is showing. Bahaha.

So 30 Rock is over. I started watching this season, but the early episodes around the election really upset me. Relevance is one thing, beating me over the head with a rubber club is another. If I wanted election coverage, I’d find a way to watch CNN (I don’t have cable). Sounds like it got better. I kind of know what happens because I like them on Facebook.

Excuse me, I have a griffin to beat the crap out of. DIE, you whore!, but don’t die because you’re a whore, die because you crossed me one too many times (in this case, once). Whores are peeps too.

Also, Peeps are disgusting and I don’t know why they’re still manufactured.

I’m not drunk, per say, but my Facebooking is hi-fraking-larious right now. Toot Toot.

I just saw something about writer’s anxiety. Here’s the thing (for me): I don’t have anxiety about writing. I love writing, and I’m going to write whatever the hell I want. If no one reads it, I don’t really care. I don’t write for other people, and I don’t necessarily care if I can make money at it. I write because it makes me happy. To me, the happiness is payment enough, and anything after that is a bonus check (a very highly taxable bonus check).

DAMMIT Facebook, stop autocorrecting my typos. They’re intentional, damn you!

Kratos, you and I are going to have a serious problem if you don’t stop rolling around every two seconds.

Okay, so I quit Kratos and ran crying back to Arkham. At least I went to Asylum. Batman just knows how I like it, and Kratos doesn’t have access to the Joker by Mark Hamill. LOOOOOOOOOOVE it.

Batman vs. glass windows: Oh no you didn’t.

Anyway, g2g and all that snacks,

you made it this far, You’re Welcome (such an arrogant prick am I.)

:)

Superman’s Secret: Identity

Posted: February 9, 2013 in THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS
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A shaken Clark Kent, unconcerned about his sec...

From Superman v.2 #121 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why does Superman need a secret identity? He’s Superman. If he takes off his costume, he’s still Superman. If Batman takes off his costume, he’s (*spoiler alert*) Bruce Wayne. If just about every other superhero took off their costumes, they’d also be somebody else. So what is Superman hiding from?

Superheroes have secret identities to protect themselves and the ones they love. Doesn’t it seem like Superman is intentionally putting people in danger by being (*spoiler alert*) Clark Kent? Okay, so maybe he was raised by humans, and maybe he wants to have a life outside of Superman; a life with other people. Fine. You win this round, Superman. Or do you?

The fact is, Superman doesn’t NEED a secret identity, he WANTS one. You could argue that Clark is a wage-earner so that Superman can eat, but does Superman NEED to eat? I don’t know the answer, and I haven’t looked it up yet. I thought Superman got everything he needed from the sun, and if that’s true, then Superman faces a conflict of needs versus wants. That conflict is a philosophical one, so I don’t think it can used as an example of the humanizing of Superman, but he does seem to have a need to be as much of a human he can be. So can it be said that Superman is hiding from himself?

Clearly, he is content with being Superman and helping and saving as many people as he can, but a little deeper than surface, is there a part of him that wishes he were more human? As far as I know, his relationship with all things Kryptonian is rocky; it has its ups and downs. I think he’s proud of where he came from, but my limited knowledge can’t help but wonder if there isn’t something our Man of Steel is hiding.

Honestly, it’s none of my damn business, so I’ll leave it alone. You’re welcome.

Glenn Close: magician of the mind

Posted: February 3, 2013 in PRAISES AND REVIEWS
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In Disney's 1996 live-action remake of the ani...

In Disney’s 1996 live-action remake of the animated film, 101 Dalmatians, and its 2000 sequel, 102 Dalmatians, Cruella was played by Glenn Close. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t know what it is about Glenn Close, but she is probably the most brilliant actor I’ve ever seen (and my family knows how absurdly picky I am). I fell in absolute love with her after watching “Dangerous Liasons” and seeing the close-up moment where she gives the slightest smirk regrading her plans with John Malkovich’s character. She said nothing, but you knew EVERYTHING. It was sheer orgasm of the mind. In “Damages”, she was amazing in season 1 (everything after that was a bit downhill for her character, though they tried in the final season, they really did). And “Albert Nobbs”, anyone? Yes, yes, yEs, YeS, YES! I’m watching her now in “101 Dalmations” and I can’t stop loving her.

The Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) and the...

I don’t know if other people can do this, but I like to think my actor training allows me to see past a performance into what the actor is doing (the actor’s “acting”). Normally when I see this, it upsets me and completely destroys the moment and most of the movie (a good story forgives a lot of errors, writers, but don’t get penis-y because poor execution can obliterate a good story), but there’s something about Glenn Close’s process that keeps me involved. So involved, in fact, that as I’m trying to play Arkham City, I get sucked into this movie whenever she appears. That’s right, my love for Batman is distracted by my love for Glenn Close. Hold the mother-appreciating phone.

AlbertNobbs-FrontMeryl Streep (the over-valued queen of acting) has nothing on Glenn Close. When I watch Meryl, I see a lack of effort, but when I watch Glenn, I see process. I want to see process. If I want lack of effort, I watch Angelina Jolie (who I also LOVE). She doesn’t need to try because she’ll be in my heart forever. Glenn Close doesn’t need to try either, but I love her because she puts her all in there no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

English: Glenn Close at the Cannes film festiv...

Glenn Close, everybody. You’re welcome.

Could you kill?: philosophical ponderings of the ethically moral mind

Posted: January 24, 2013 in THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS
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Batman Beyond (comics)

Batman Beyond (comics) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Morals. Ethics. Philosophy. What do you believe? What code do you live by? Would you kill for pleasure, glory, or necessity, or might you condemn it all? Would you go so far as pacifism, the refusal to inflict harm? Let me put it in perspective. Batman will injure the crap out of you if necessary, but he will not kill you. He also could not live with himself if he were the cause of an innocent’s harm. What’s his motivator, justice? Revenge? An overwhelming sense of duty after the death of his parents by a violent criminal? How far could you go before you couldn’t help but abandon your morals? Could you, as Batman, continue to put the Joker behind bars, only to have him escape and kill (hundreds) more? How far could you go before you killed (for the sake of justice?) And is killing for the sake of justice truly justified? To what extent do your morals govern how you live? I mean, how tied to your moral code are you? Can you honestly say you wouldn’t kill someone, or should the situation arise that you were put in a position that you could either kill someone or be killed, would you still have the tenacity to remain true to your vow to never kill? Have you even made a vow never to kill?

Think about yourself and your relationship to the billions of other humans around you. Your needs are not paramount, but when is the time to put your needs above others? Is there such a time? And should you continuously put the needs of other before your own, is there a point where the ingratitude of others becomes too much to bear? Is it okay to expect a little return from the kindness that you show the world, or is kindness something expected from you (and everyone else)? If this is the case, we very clearly fail, because one good action in this world does not necessarily beget another. There are people who will bleed you dry if given then chance (because your blood donation could save at least 3 three lives). The pondaries never end. To that extent, does life ever really end? What defines life? Who has the authority to define definitions of this magnitude? Your deity of choice? In the case of Christianity, who is to say that the book you hold so dear is truth? Or maybe it’s the summation (note: not quotation) of numerous individuals sharing a common belief that has been accepted by many. Again, who the hell is to say any of this is true?

What really matters? You. This is the time to be selfish: when it concerns you and only you. “I believe…” Finish the sentence, but know when is the time to say “I” and when is the time to put others before you. Know, however, that you do not have to share you beliefs on any topic with anyone. Your beliefs are your own, and your morals, beliefs, and personal philosophy are the concern of you. This is the one time, I think, to say: “Fuck everyone else.” They need to mind their own damn business anyway.

Expect more on this later. And yes, I’m playing Arkham City, and yes, I’ve been drinking. You can also expect a Drunkennings tomorrow night, BT the dubs (BTW).

P.S. the end of Arkham City is absolutely heartbreaking, especially during the credits. Damn near makes me cry every single time.

The Joker, after emerging from the canal of ch...

The Joker, after emerging from the canal of chemical-waste from Batman: The Killing Joke. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Arkham City: Batman’s Jamz

Posted: January 16, 2013 in PRAISES AND REVIEWS
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Batman : Arkham Asylum

Batman : Arkham Asylum (Photo credit: psygeist)

The year was 2009, and the video game world was being rocked by a game called Batman: Arkham Asylum. For the general public, this was a departure from the reality of the Christopher Nolan reboot and even further from the absurdity of the Joel Schumacher films. It was a Batman they’d never seen before. He resembled the Batman from the animated series, and much of the character design seemed based on or at the very least influenced by the show. This, however,  was a gritty, dark, horror-filled world that Batman lived in, and worse, he was placed at the mercy of his greatest foes when he was trapped in Arkham Asylum overnight. Anything could happen, and anyone could pop out at you. Batman: the Horror Movie. Holy awesome game, Nightwing.

Batman Arkham City

Batman Arkham City (Photo credit: bhautikjoshi)

Fast forward to 2011, to the release of Asylum’s sequel: Arkham City. This game’s environment was more than twice the size of its predecessor’s, and to match the playing field, the story was bigger, the number of villains included was ridonculous, the gadgets and abilities were just what you’d hope and wished for, and the soundtrack was amazing. Never before has a game brought me to near tears, and never have I encountered a game with this much replay value. A number of downloadable content packs were released, including a small expansion called “Harley’s Revenge” in which you get the opportunity to play through the expansion story as Robin (let me also add that never has Robin been so awesome, and that this is also exactly what I wanted after playing Arkham City the first time.)

Over the past decade, the gaming studios have paid increasing attention to a vital part of any game: the soundtrack. The soundtrack may not have the ultimate power to make or break a game, but it can definitely bring a gamer to the brink of playing something else. At the same time, it’s hard to imagine some games without thinking of their soundtracks (Zelda, for example). The main theme of Zelda was simple and extremely catchy. It was also repeated…a lot. Most games used to be underscored from beginning to end…with generally forgettable “music.” But thanks (I venture to guess) to Hollywood’s ever-growing influence, the trend of creating games that looked and felt like movies exploded. Synthesized tunage was no longer acceptable (kiss success goodbye if you try to put that crap in one of today’s game. Maybe if it’s a highly conceptual game, but that’s a major risk). Gamers of today need more from our game soundtracks, and Arkham City delivers.

Check out the game’s epic main theme:

You don’t get that quality from many games!

The entire soundtrack has become an obsession of mine, a lasting one at that. It’s been over a year since I started playing this game and I’m still playing it 3-5 times a week and I listen to the soundtrack multiple times daily. An obsession worth having. Like Star Wars. Star Wars and Batman: Worth the Time, Every Time. The obsession was increased today when I was walking through sleet on the way to work, listening to my jam, as usual, and suddenly I was transported to Gotham City in the winter. The music sounds like a freezing, frenzied wind-blown snow, which is great considering the game takes place in the winter, amongst freezing, frenzied wind-blown snow. Nick Arundel has composed a truly brilliant score to a truly brilliant game, and if you don’t watch or play the game, you should at least check out some more of the songs. Do it, or miss out on life. It’s that serious.